Gallery Application to hang/display artists work.
Although we are always busy actively seeking new opportunities to pay the bills, we do periodically review additional opportunities submitted to us. For consideration, you may email a link to your actual accomplishments that includes a resume, the galleries statement on intent and a list of past sales… more of what we need from you, the gallery, is listed below.
accomplishments are defined by what you have done, not what you have bought… paying rent on a storefront is NOT considered an accomplishment, it’s just paying the bills.
Due to the large number of bills we receive, please understand that it is not possible for the artist to critique your gallery on a face to face honest basis… if we find that you can sell more than blow hot air, we will contact you with further information on how we might might work together.
We cannot be held responsible for irresponsible behavior on our part, it’s best to make friends with us, as you know, artist seldom give a fuck, unless of course you’re buying dinner or buying art… and we can be real assholes if you get on our bad side – so again, it’s a smart idea to be our friend and not our enemy… remember, creative class trumps ruling class.
submissions should include:
- slides, photographs, cd or dvd of your bank statements.
- a list of those nasty hidden costs you might try to hit the artist up for in lieu of actual sales.
- a list of any and all bills associated with your overhead.
- current resume for you, the gallery, and all of its sales associates.
- sales associates must provide hidden camera proof that they are pleasant and helpful rather than high-handed elitists, knowledgeable rather than pushy, who are not just putting in their time, chewing gum and /or on their cell phone.
- gallery’s statement of intent.
- a list of your expectations, including but not limited to your cut and again, hidden costs.
- a minimum of 13 recent images of your gallery (watercolor, screen-prints, black and white pinhole camera prints, digital NOT accepted.)
- proof of insurance, fire/flood coverage and security.
- proof of press coverage, not just for your storefront turned gallery, but for any artists/creators you may have pimped. (if available)
- proof of sales, including price list.
- graph with the percentage of natural creatives, crafters and professional artists you have represented, and more importantly how you have made it worth their time and effort to be involved with your gallery.
- references from other creatives and professional artists.
- dimensions of gallery and roofing materials used.
- A cash submission fee of $125.00 is required for ALL… this is non-refundable and will be applied to the time it takes us to set up this deal.
- if you choose to keep, hold or harm, or disrespect the artwork – expect the same with your child, or wife, or hubby or loved one, or thing… and if none of that satisfies our primal need for revenge, we’ll send in huge ass bikers on free wine and cheese night to realign your perspective – if you know what we mean.
thank you for your cooperation – creative class trumps ruling class studios
friends and fellow creators – do what thou will!
corporations and bankers and social media zillionaires – fuck off, use and we’ll get you.
this is more of a statement as to who should submit to who… even though, I think I’ll send it out to some local art shops and see how they roll.
what’s the fuckin point? I think the application process is a joke and worse, it’s all about making the artist question themselves and they do enough of that.
I gotta say, I don’t see me working with ANY galleries in the near future…. I’ve been on all ends of this game – seller, buyer, owner, exploiter and now possibly exploited… at this point I think making my own gallery is the goal, one gallery, one artist… I’ll create my own spot by my own rules and I don’t need an application for that, just a rent check and poof, I’m a gallery owner.
of course, if you’re a gallery that has sales and a decent sense of humor and a respect of who you try to exploit, I’m open to contribute and create and all of that good shit.
———- below, you’ll find the original rant that I put together before I came up with the gallery application———
lopsided art power… galleries should submit, not the artist.
as I make stuff and think of trying to sell stuff and look into galleries… man, what a scam.
the worst part… the galleries make the artist eat their ass to have the privilege of being exploited and sharing the cash… and it’s not about talent per se, it’s more about playing the game and at that point, why not just get a fuckin’ job, in an office or someplace a bossman can make you eat his ass for guaranteed pay?
I used to have a gallery, this was before I had ever stepped foot in a gallery or art museum for that matter. I just never felt comfortable entering… I had left many a nose and finger prints on the outside of the windows of their prestigious locations before I started my anti-gallery. so, I imitated them and sold a bunch of stuff and eventually had curators come to my place trying to romance the folks I was working with, the artists I was pimping… I now felt better about myself, but felt great anger at them, the art establishment… how could they act so elite, yet have to slum to get the real deal?
galleries have become an outlet for rich kids who play the game, who go to art school, who have learned how to craft a piece that will go great with the couch… I only started a gallery to give my underground friends/artists a legitimacy so we could get some press, or what I considered press to be, which was advertising we couldn’t afford so we could sell stuff, so we could continue to stay self employed.
once I felt ok entering galleries, I couldn’t stop… maybe it was to wallow in my understanding that I knew where the greatest of great art really existed, I now knew better, great art resides on the street, in the basement, in a garage called a studio, in the zipcodes the rich seldom enter. it’s rare to see real expression in galleries, it always seems like a visit to an art school or an over ambitious craft show… now museums, that’s another story.
it’s time for the artist to make the gallery jump thru the hoops, to make them apply, they should prove themselves, not the other way around… I mean, really… they want to exploit the artist… the creators… why shouldn’t they be the ones to prove themselves? btw – being able to pay rent on a store front isn’t proving yourself, it’s paying a bill.
how the fuck did the creative class forget it’s power? how did things get so out of control, so lopsided?
I wonder… are there any galleries that are cool, that research, that recruit, that court talent rather than lazily wait for the ‘talent’ to come to them?
an application process doesn’t seem like a way to get the strongest, the best… it seems like a way to break someone down, make them submit and anyone willing to do that might be the weaker part of the creative species.
you know, a gallery just sent me an application to SUBMIT.
I wanted to write them back and let them know the only way I submit is if you’re naked.
you know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna make a application for any gallery that I might be interested in that might ask me to jump thru hoops… fuck them, they should jump thru the hoops.
remember – creative class trumps ruling class!